Why are we all so judgemental? I will tell you why.

Because we are meant to make each other better that is why. When you judge someone you are essentially finding a flaw in someone’s character or behavior. You are seeing someone from a different perspective, from an outside perspective and you are seeing all the positive, negative and sometimes questionable qualities they display. Quite often people talk or sometimes blab away and don’t realize what they are doing (we all do it at some point, some of us still do it). They reveal a lot of things about themselves either through body language or verbally. But others will realize it, and the saaaaaame way you judge, you get judged, it’s a two-way street little homie and there is no way around it.

So where do we go wrong?

When we go from mental judging to being flat out judges and handing out verdicts is where we go wrong. Is it always wrong? no, of course not! once in a while people need a good verbal slap in the face or a good verbal sentencing to get their shit together, or simply to respect you or themselves. However, sometimes it is wrong to go and tell a person how to live their life and what they are doing wrong. You have to weight the size of your friendship and trust meter.  Whether you may want the best for someone or not it’s good to check your options before you emotionally let go of some words aimed at someone’s life. Remember, ultimately, it’s all perspective. We all see the world from our point of view yet we don’t see ourselves unless we are looking at a mirror all day. On a side note, the new age may be more aware of themselves and their habits thanks to the selfie phenomenon through cell phones and tablets and other new technological software.

Crossing the line.

When you get into an argument or heated discussion with a friend and you end up telling each other off. It can get ugly and negative but if you remove all the emotional spectacle you may find that someone is telling you something that you are doing which you may not be aware of yourself. Remember you can’t see yourself so therefore it can be beneficial to one when someone takes the time out to address you for whatever reason. Usually, when you get this insight on yourself, you want to hold on to it to analyze it. This sounds all good on paper, however, doing it it’s a whole other story. That requires effort of having to tune out what I call “the spectacle” or the “show” aspect of their judgements on you and vice versa. Aside from the Broadway show, some people may put on, if you listen to their core message, it usually may be some good simple advice to better your life. Please keep in mind that it’s important you weight the quality of the friendship or coneection, otherwise it may just be garbage and a person can be telling you what they feel about themselves.

Not too go on a separate tangent here but grownups and feelings may seem to be the real issue here. As a parent I can see how kids are quite into their feelings yet quite often they are not hurt, they will be very direct and it is ok in their young point of view

Growing up

As we grow up we go through different stages in our judgment life, such as not caring what everyone thinks about us, especially our peers. Then we go through the “I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks about me” stage. One must be very careful when choosing both these approaches because they can really set you up for failure. One word is judgment and another is opinion. Are they the same? No, Are they related? sure. Now, in my opinion, a judgment is carefully considered. Someone took the time to run it through their mind, like a judge who has to deliver a verdict. An opinion, on the other hand, is a fast paced, on the spot decision or a long-time opinion formulated about someone whom the judge has no actual contact with but sees them consistently. Talking about opinions, leave me yours below.

 

In conclusion, it boils down to survival, being judgmental is part of human survival, if it is hard wired into our system then it has a function. End of story. Google it!